ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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