wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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