I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
