Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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