News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
