dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Let's paint friendship bongs
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
