Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
