Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
