sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
