we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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