I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
