At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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