There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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