I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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