you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
