how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
