pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
