I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I have tasted many bathrooms
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize