i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
