Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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