Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
