Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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