She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
you made out with another girl for some wings
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
