y did u give ur computer a hand job?
her vagine was all disorganized.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
