I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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