I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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