The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
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Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
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My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
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