last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
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