oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
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