If you die in college, do you die in real life?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
