remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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