You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
