Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
