she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
