Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
