I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
