Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize