Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
