he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
