Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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