Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
