sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
