Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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