ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cut my penus on the lid.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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