I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
