A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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