We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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