Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
