Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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