The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Randomize
