is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
