im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
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