just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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