is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
God, I missed his penis.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
