Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
