oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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