Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
